I'm Leaving My Job... For the Better

Hello again! This is the update or post that I was talking about in my previous post. This time, it's about me and my struggles in my workplace.

If you frequently visit my blog page, you probably notice the lack of posts especially during April to this current post. The reason is I'm burned out, super stressed and depressed because of the toxicity in my workplace.

How toxic, you ask? Here's a list:

- Internal politics

- Too much workload, not enough pay

- Fake friends

- Backstabbers

- False rumors

- Incompetent current officer in charge/head

- Unprofessional co-workers

- Office felt like an unruly classroom

I've been working for almost 8 years in the company. Everything was fine for 5 years, then the new co-workers came and some of them turned the office into a circus.

My struggles all happened in April, I almost died there litterally. I won't go in too much detail, but it's about too much work, reports, deadlines and this is my very first time to experience an extreme grilling from the boss. Adding fuel to the fire: my reputation got ruined by false rumors and stories. It felt like a strategic move and personal. Looks like there's an alleged backtabber in the workplace. 

Then my first child was born in May. I'm on paternity leave with added vacation leaves to better help my recovering wife and take care of our baby and at the same time, to get away from all the toxicity at the office and to physically and mentally recover from stress and fatigue.

While I'm on leave, the toxicity continue. At this point I don't really care. I was planning to leave the company so that I will remain physically and mentally healthy for my family. I don't care if I got unemployed, what's important is that I'm still alive, healthy and have more time with my family and I can still find jobs.

Yes, I'm planning to leave but I was still hoping I was gonna get renewed so that I can request to transfer to other departments. But this June, I received news that my contract is not gonna get renewed. This is gonna be weird, but I did a sigh of relief once I confirmed that my non-renewal is true. So I will be doing my clearance and other formalities, then I will use my remaining leaves and by the end of June, I'm out of the toxic cesspool.

I really want to resign after 5 years of working there but I felt bad for my co-workers because my tasks are really difficult and they don't know how to do it and they're scared to do it. But today, things changed, I will leave them with my very difficult and stressful work with so many deadlines, I'm kind enough to give a step-by-step guide but goodluck figuring the rest out.

Even though my contract isn't renewed, I'm happier than before. The depression is gone but I lost some weight from 78kg to 68kg, lost some muscle mass too. Good thing is that my blood pressure is okay and back to normal and I can eat, workout, possibly skate and enjoy life again. Right now, I will be focusing on taking care of my family while looking for a new job.

I'm doing a real honest work at the office, and I've learned some lessons during this ordeal:  I shoudn't 100% trust everyone at work. Leave some doubt and don't share any personal and private stuff. I gotta watch my back and cover my bases and gather some evidence for my defense in case someone wants to ruin me infront of the bosses.

This ordeal broke me. I lost my confidence and spirit but in the end, it made me a better person and made me closer to God. Thanks to my supportive wife that's always at my side in my darkest moments.

Currently, I don't have any idea on what's happening on my former workplace and co-workers. I've heard stories, horrible ones at that, but I don't really care. These few co-workers that I've considered friends are now just people that I will warn people to avoid and I feel the indifference when I see them and when try to talk to me.

I'm gonna miss my real friends and close bosses that also helped me out during this crisis. I have alot of fond memories there but the person (or people) that destroyed my reputation tainted the company's memory for me.

That's it for the update. Your regular normal posts will continue soon. Just be patient, guys. :)

And thanks for stopping by in this humble blog page of mine.

Cheers!