 |
| Yeah, it's an AI generated image. No time to draw at the moment, sorry. |
Hey it's another dad post by yours truly. Our baby daughter is now four months old at the time of this post and I'm gonna share my experiences being a first time parent. If you're planning to have kids or a fellow first time parent like me. You might find something in this post that will help you on your parenthood journey.
Having and taking care of your own baby is different than taking care of other babies.
I have experience in taking care of babies and toddlers, like my two godchildren years ago. But having your own baby is much different than taking care of your baby nephews and nieces. Because you will do all these stuff: changing diapers, bathing and dressing up your baby, doing an all-nighter feeding, cuddling and putting your baby to sleep.
You will be sacrificing part of your self to take care of your baby.
I know this but I didn't expect that I will be neglecting so much of myself and my hobbies and stuff just to take care of my little one. Don't get me wrong, I love taking care of my little baby. But sometimes I long to do my usual stuff back when we still don't have a baby.
No matter how ready you are, your baby might turn your days around at any moment.
I got everything planned for today and the next day, or we have a plan to go out to buy groceries, but sometimes our baby changes that routine. Newborn to 3 month old babies have erratic schedules and their way of communicating is by crying and sometimes their cries sound concerning that makes you want to cancel everything and stay home, but for real it's just normal. I'm fully aware of this but sometimes it takes us off guard depending on our baby's mood.
You will learn what the baby needs by just hearing him/her cry
I learned this ability just by being with my baby 24/7. I learned that depending on how my baby cries, there's a specific way to soothe her. She cries differently when she's hungry, pooping, peeing, bored, sleepy and have gas. You will learn this too naturally, just be patient.
You will encounter some challenges ahead.
As our baby grows (our baby is currently 4 months old as of this post), we encountered challenges like colic that makes our baby fussy for hours, we solved that challenge and our baby isn't fussy too much anymore. Our current challenge is really difficult and frustrating to the point that it broke me to tears - bottle aversion. We are currently figuring out ways to make our baby drink from feeding bottles without making her upset and cry. Two months later, we are now making progress. Other challenges are colds, cough. fever and any types of sickness. So better take care of your baby, make sure he's/she's healthy and safe.
Be calm and don't panic as much as possible
A fussy baby can cause panic to the parents. I get panicky when my baby unusually cries loud. So to stay calm, I put down my fussy baby first, step back and take a few breaths for 5 to 10 seconds then pick up and soothe my baby again.
Babies can feel your emotion
Babies have this ability to detect or feel emotion from their parents, it's almost like a super power. That's why you must have a positive and happy vibe when your holding your baby. Avoid negative emotions like anger, anxiety and fear.
Have fun with your baby
Play with your baby according to his/her age. Don't just make face and silly noises, talk with your baby properly. This will make them learn words and sentences quickly. Depending on how month old your baby is, do some fun and safe physical exercises that improves the baby's motor skills. Hold a toy in front of your baby and move it in any direction to see his/her eye tracking skills. Let the baby hold and feel his/her toy. Have a nice stroll and make your baby safely experience the world outside the house. Remember, all these activities depends on the baby's age. So do some research and apply safely what you've learned while playing with your baby.
Take care of yourself and your spouse/partner
Don't forget to eat, take a bath and take care of yourself and your spouse/partner. You will need all the energy to take care of your baby. You will also get dirty, your clothes will have lots of milk stains, vomit and saliva from your baby. You will also get super sweaty too so clean up and change your clothes so that you'll feel fresh. Wearing fresh set of clothes removes some of your stress and fatigue.
Be there for your spouse/partner
For dads/husbands, it's important to support your wife/partner when taking care of your baby. She's going through a lot of stuff, like post-partum depression. If she went through a CS operation, she will need a lot of rest to recover and you need to assist her in cleaning her wound/stitches and when she wants to get up and walk to the bathroom. In addition to those - she will get tired, hungry and thirsty fast. Prepare a meal for her, give her some drinks and snacks, give shoulder massages, compliment and have conversations with your wife, sometimes crack a joke to make your wife laugh. Swap turns taking care of your baby so that your wife can take a rest. She needs all of these so that it will be easy for both of you to take care of your baby.
Accept all the help you can get
Don't be too prideful. If both you and your spouse are tired taking care of your baby and need to relax a bit or just want to do some chores because the house is very cluttered and dirty or do some laundry. It's always best to get some help form a relative or friend (even better if they volunteer). They can help do some chores, prepare meals and take care of your baby while both of you are having a breather, quick rest or power naps.
All of these are temporary
Yes, that's right. Remember all of these are temporary and your lives will get back to normal with an addition of a new bestfriend in a form of your child. When your child grows up and becomes more independent and requires less attention or maintenance, your lives will start to go back to normal. You can do your hobbies once again and you can introduce them your child (or teach stuff that you know) so that he/she can enjoy those and have a bonding and fun time with you.
The bittersweet heartbreak
Knowing that your baby will not stay as a baby forever, it feels kinda sad. As your baby grows in to a toddler, to child, to teenager and to an adult, you will miss having him/her as a tiny baby that fits on your arms as you cradle, cuddle, feed and sooth him/her. You will miss all the sleepless and stressful nights comforting and feeding your baby and that surreal feeling that you have created a life and now have a little one that fully depends on you. And as she grows older, she need us less even more. To me and my wife, that's a bittersweet heartbreak. But on the brightside, our child will have a family of her own in the future and we will have grandkids to have fun and play with.
That's all that I've experienced and still learning so far. Parenthood is a long journey and I'm learning new parenting skills along the way. I hope this post help those first time parents too.
Cheers!
No comments:
Post a Comment